“I have been married to my partner for 15 years. I have a sexual relationship, and he does not. Spending 24 hours a day together during the pandemic has hurt our sexual relationships. Now that we know each other better than ever, I’m unsure if we are truly compatible. It’s like he doesn’t like me.” My symptoms bother him: forgetfulness, losing keys, poor concentration. His symptoms in sexual relationships bother me: lack of empathy and feeling guilty when I forget things. I often think about divorce these days. Is there a way to save this sexual relationship? “I have coached hundreds of sexual relationships.”

Many of us are working from home with our partners during the pandemic. Undoubtedly, we have noticed increased separations, divorces, and negative feelings between partners during this time. You write that you have “seriously considered divorce.” In sexual relationships, this can lead to “analysis paralysis.” This makes it difficult to make decisions about many things, including sexual relationships.

Before reading, ask yourself: “Have you decided yet?” “Do I know that divorce is the right path for me?” If the answer is yes, stop reading. But if you still believe your marriage is salvageable and you’re ready to make a change, read on.

Marriage Matters: How to Rekindle Your Sexual Relationship  

According to neuropsychologist and author of Sexual Relationships, humans are born with a negative tendency. The more negative a person’s thought patterns are and the more they ruminate—constantly think about a situation and focus on its negative aspects—the more likely they are to revert to that thought pattern automatically.” Rumination can damage the neural structures that control emotions. They regulate memory and emotions. The bad things that happen to us outweigh the good stuff.

 Research also shows that it takes at least five positive actions to offset one serious or destructive action in a marriage. One way to strengthen a marriage is to ensure the good outweighs the bad. Think of a cookie jar. The longer you have been in a sexual relationship, the less of a problem it will be if one of the cookies gets eaten. Sexual Relationships

What makes you like your partner in a sexual relationship?

And the positive things he has done during the week. Write down these traits. Then answer these questions: “Why did I fall in love with my partner in the first place?” “How do I feel when he shows these qualities in a sexual relationship?” Review the answers to these questions every day to encourage positive thinking. Reinforce.

Say “thank you” with gratitude for your entire partner has done for you

Display photos of fun memories you shared with your spouse around your home, phone, and computer. Many adults in sexual relationships have poor working memory. Looking at the photos will remind you of the good times.

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wiliam mary
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